S.H.E.S

So far this month I haven't posted anything. Between the end of classes and being super busy, I haven't had the time to sit down and just write.

The holidays are tough for me. When I bought the first present, wrapped it and put it under the tree, it brought back a lot of memories from back home in Detroit and Dearborn Heights. I know my father was ridiculous and a huge jerk, he was so incredibly angry around the holidays but that never let my mom and I stop from putting up a tree and lights. Christmas is my favorite.. even if I have terrible memories. My only relief in high school was going to Florida and spending it with my aunt and uncle. They treated me so good! And ya I was spoiled with presents, but that is not why I wanted to go, I wanted to get away from that evil person.

 

I am finally able to relax and be happy. Tim bought us a Christmas tree and we put it up right after Thanksgiving. We went to Bronners and even bought ornaments that we both really liked. I love him for making Christmas easier for me. He has been nothing but supportive (besides with me buying so many gifts!..oops) but it has been fun. This year I was finally able to make it to the Bradley's to put up their tree and make cookies. Sadly I missed it all last year :( but this year I had a lot of fun. We even went to Bay City and watched A Christmas Story at their theater. I had a lot of fun. AND Tim and I had the most wonderful date night. We went and seen the Holiday Pops at the Whiting in Flint and got really dressed up. Beth (Tim's mom) not only colored my hair but she curled it for me :) It looked really amazing. Those are the moments that I will remember forever! 

 

He's honestly the best thing that has even happened to me and I would never do anything stupid to change that! In between my fun with Tim and his family, I also went out with some of the Belleman's and my mother (my family), and it was FUN! I miss my mom a lot but I have learn to accept that she has her life in Roseville and I am officially in Grand Blanc, MI until Tim and I decide where we are going from here. I love that my mom still will follow me on Facebook and still calls!

But while I am having fun and living life, something not acceptable happened. Something that was so intolerable, my heart is still aching. 

A shooting took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conneticut. A man shot his mother (a teacher at the school) before going to this Elementary school and shooting not only those 6 adults, but all of the 20 children you see here. I refuse to mention the shooters name because I refuse to give him any more light even if he did kill himself. How can someone be so sick, to plan out such a thing? The past 5 years have been nothing but filled with psycho's. From the Virginia Tech shooting to this :( It breaks my heart that these children will never see what its like to really live. To first learn how to drive, to be able to go alone with friends to the mall, to turn 18 and 21. I am so grateful that God has given me the opportunity to really live.

The biggest question is "How do we stop the violence?" But can we? Stuff like this has been happening before I was even born. Drugs are illegal in the states and I am sure in other countries, but guns are legal. They are currently trying to make a ban on guns but will that honestly make a difference? If you can find a buyer and get drugs, don't you think that you could find a buyer for guns? It's NOT that hard. Is there really a way to stop the violence? The craziness? Can we find a cure for psycho-ness? 

 

This right here is a photo of a man who did the same thing, but instead with a bomb. Are we going to start putting bans on everything? Require a license to even buy fertilizer? What is that going to do? I don't have the answer obviously, but it makes me think. For the sake of my future children, is having children really worth it? 

Everyone always says things like "don't let that stop you," and "you deserve to be happy, if you want kids, have them." But how do I stop monsters like the shooter and this bomber from getting to them? How do I protect them enough? Love just isn't enough and neither is keeping them cooped up. There is no answer. Praying could potentially protect them, but as I was listening to the radio the other day, they made a solid point. If God was real, wouldn't he have thrown a protective shield around those babies? Wouldn't he have changed the killers mind? Couldn't he have done something? (I know this is a VERY touchy subject, but its my blog and I will touch it if I want to). I guess only time will tell. Only the future will tell me if things will be okay or not. 

I will tell you one thing, I will never take life for granted again. I may go out and have fun but I will always thank God for giving me life and letting me live. We will never know the answer to all of the insanity and the problems, but I will say, finding a solution is highly impossible.

Being Thankful!

I was hesitating writing this post because being thankful only once a year is ridiculous. I am thankful for a lot of things and I have to write it at least once a year. So here it goes.
I am thankful for:

1. My wonderful boyfriend Tim.
• Honestly, after only a year, I was surprised when he said yes to me moving in! I am so thankful that he has been there for me since day one. He sat by me through money troubles, through being sick, through surgery, through a lot more too. I am forever thankful. He has invested so much in me and I with him. I couldn't be where I am at without him. 
2. My mother.
• My mom has always been my best friend, it has been hard without her closer to me but when I call her and hear her voice it is such a relief. I don't know what I would do without her relationship advice, or her advice in general. 
3. My closest aunt and uncle.
• Since day one they have taken care of me, anytime I need something they are always there and just a phone call or an email away. I love my stays with them because its relaxing and fun. And I love their puppies too! I miss them daily and wish I was closer to them as well. 
4. For college.
• I have witnessed half the people I graduated high school with either: never go to college and throw their sports career down the toilet, get addicted to drugs or just... pretty much give up. I on the other hand have invested my "career" in school and try my best to succeed. I know lately I have been "blah" and bored with it, but without school, I would be going no where. 
5. To be alive and to be able to wake up every morning.
• Even though I hate morning's, it is great to be able to live and wake up every morning. 
6. To have a roof over my head and a meal on the table.
• Tim has been wonderful to let me move in. I wouldn't be anywhere if I didn't have him. I am also thankful for him and I cooking meals! We are trying to be healthier and better about the way we eat.
7. To have met Tim's family.
• They treat me like one of their own. Since day one they have been nothing but nice to me! I have been welcomed and it is an amazing feeling.
8. My five senses.
• To be able to taste, feel, see, hear and smell. I know I would be a different person if I didn't have those things, it would be an adjustment if I lost one. I am forever grateful.
9. My wonderful dog Buzz
• Although Buzz is more like our child, he is such a wonderful companion. I love to see that smile on Tim's face when he is around Buzz. He sleeps right between us and even cuddles me when Tim leaves. 
10. Knowing when enough is enough
• I know when I am pushed too far and  not happy. When I need to walk away, I know when it needs to be cut from my life.
11. Being an American.
• Although our country is Trillion's of dollars in debt, I will never forget that I am grateful for being an American. To an extent I am free, but honestly, it is better than half the countries out there. It may not be perfect, but its where I live and where I worship. Freedom and opportunity is another great thing too.
12. All the people in some sort of service: Army, Navy, Police, etc..
• Without these people, where would our country be? We would be in a whole word of trouble and a mess. I am thankful that the Police are there to patrol and protect us here in the U.S. while the army protects our country from nasty places. 
13. Health
• I know this past year I haven't been the healthiest with stress, and surgery and etc.. but at least I am the slightest bit healthy to function every day. 
14. Seasons
• I am grateful to be able to experience each season. Michigan may have one funky mother nature, but at least she gives us a glimpse of each season. If I lived any where else, I wouldn't know what it is like being a Michigander. 
15. Second chances.
• Without being able to get a second chance, I don't know where I would be. So far I have not found one job that I am happy with. I know I have messed up a lot too,so I am grateful to be able to move on and get more than one chance.
16. Thanksgiving break
• A great way to relax my brain is by getting a break from school. I needed this!
17. Positive influences
18. Achievements
• All trough school I have been a great kid. Honor roll, service hours, dean's list, you name it, I am trying.
19. Clean water, fresh food.
• A lot of countries are NOT as lucky as we are. We are lucky to have the sources we need to get clean water and fresh food including fruit, veggies, meat, you name it. 
20. Love
• There is the ability to love all around. People, places, things, it is an amazing thing when your heart melts.
21. Our first Christmas tree
• I haven't owned a big Christmas tree in a long time, my father would never allow it so we had tiny trees growing up. My aunt and uncle in Florida have a nice big tree but I was never there to decorate it :( but now Tim has given me the chance to put up, decorate and be excited for something. 
22. 90's cartoons and movies I grew up with
• Honestly without those I don't know where I would be. I think that is how I learned most of what I know now. I took in the good stuff, not the bad stuff everyone is always talking about. My cartoons were bad ass :)
23. To be alive
• I know I feel as if I am repeating myself, but without being alive, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish anything, no one would know who I am, and obviously nothing about me would ever exist. I live for today, and I am damn grateful.

I know I could be thankful for a lot more than I have listed, but that is the gist of things :)

My mind goes on, and on, and on, and on...

I am supposed to be in bed right now, but luckily I don't have class tomorrow. My mind is racing a million miles an hour and I just can't sleep. Buzz and Tim are so soundly a sleep and here I am.. wide awake, thinking and watching television. For a long time I pictured living with someone else, especially someone I loved as very different. Not that my situation is bad now, because Tim is absolutely wonderful, but more so, it is different.

I pictured moving in and having things unpacked by now, its been about two weeks since I moved in, and having a place for things to fit. Well that didn't work out. There is absolutely no room in this three story town house. Sad to say, but I had more room in my dorm than he does in this townhouse. Yes, there is room, don't get me wrong but there is NO WHERE TO PUT ANYTHING. I am drowning and living out of boxes at the moment.

I keep saying "oh ya, I will get to it tomorrow" but in reality, what is the point of unpacking if there is no where to put anything? He already had everything that a town house would need, I just added to the chaos. I know, I know, I should be thankful to at least have a place to stay, and I am. I really have no where else to go unless I head to Florida, which I know that would make all my aunt's hair fall out. There's no room for me anywhere but here. I feel so bad for putting Tim in this situation. I feel like he is stuck with me now.

I always try to see the positives to things too, but I am also the type to see the negatives too. When moving in with someone who has also lived alone for a while, it's a huge adjustment. Whose cooking? Whose cleaning? Whose doing dishes? Oh and how about that laundry that has needed to be done for a month? It's all an adjustment. Sharing a car, he's working full time, I go to school "full time", going to bed at a decent time, it all takes time and patience. He is used to his life being messy, unorganized, and going to work then coming home and doing nothing. But I am used to doing homework, cleaning, having organization and going out when I can. It's very, very, different.

^Just saying, but that was not a paragraph with complaint, it was a paragraph of facts. Like I said a few posts back, it's not going to be easy, it's going to be hard and we have to work at it every day, because it's true. Dating, and hanging out, or spending a couple nights here and there is WAYYY different then being in each other's face everyday. Before, I could go back to my apartment and he could go back to his... but now I have to get used to living here too. I have to get used to calling this my home.

I am thankful for so much: Tim, Buzz, having a place to live, being able to share a car and still go to school everyday.

Life is an adjustment, but it's going to work out. I will make sure of that.

The Good Ole Bucket List

After watching the 2007 Bucket List, it gave tons of people the best idea of creating a bucket list. I do recommend you do so. To me it is a fun little thing to make small and big goals. Although this is a list of goals, it is a list of things I want to do before I actually do kick the bucket. I have known too many people that have died young, and I am sure they never once thought their life would end so quickly.My first goal:

1. Finish College

• I have always wanted to go to college and obviously finish. I have put so money into it to NOT finish. I don't exactly have a plan of going to Graduate School, but if it happens, it happens. A Bachelors is my biggest goal right now.

2. Travel around the United States

• This WILL happen! If not with Tim, then with myself. I want to go places and see things. I always watch the Discovery Channel which gives insight on where to go and what to do when you are in certain states. That WILL be me one day, that is a promise. 

3. Bungee Jump off a bridge

• After watching Chasing Liberty a few years back. She goes to Europe and bungee jumps off a bridge, that right there is absolutely my inspiration. Like I said, a bucket list is for big and small things, maybe even stupid things.

4. Sky dive

• Since Tim and I started dating he got this bright idea that he wants to sky dive for his birthday one year. I attempted to get it done this year but it was such short notice I couldn't come up with the money, so for future reference, this too WILL happen. I will probably try to hold on for dear life, but it will be an experience neither of us could forget.

5. Go to the Superbowl

• Obviously not number one on my list, but it is on there. I LOVE the atmosphere at a game, the chanting, the yelling, screaming, even the drunk people as long as they aren't raging drunk. And for that game they better have a bad ass half time show. 

6. Backpack across Europe

• This has always been on my list, it used to be number one, but with all the kidnapping,and danger now a days, it has slowly crept down to the bottom. I do admit I am scared, I heard lots of stories. I know I shouldn't make assumptions of things that would happen to me, but you know what, it happens. Movies scare me, stories scare me, and honestly, you really can't trust anyone you meet.

7. Run a marathon

• Ever since I seen pictures of the Ann Arbor color run, that is a HUGE goal of mine before I kick the bucket. I plan on losing weight and getting in shape. I want to get my asthma under control and finish in the top 10%.

8. End World Hunger

• This is down on my list because I know I can't do it alone. Everyone says that just by donating one can you can do justice, but honestly, how do I know where its going? I have heard so many bad rumors of the food never leaving the United States, which is good because we have starving people here too, but when I am told it is going somewhere I expect it to go somewhere. I have done many volunteering acts to help the less needy, but it never seems to be enough. They are always searching for more help each year and sometimes its more than enough and sometimes its not. 
• I often hear the argument that there is help in the United States but there isn't in other countries. That's crap (just my opinion). UNICEF has been around FOR YEARSSSS! They always have helped different countries. When I was helping (probably when I was 8) it was going to Africa. Do I know if it ever got there? Absolutely not, but we trust people we don't know because it is a great cause. 
• I have always been one to donate food, I am not stingy, if it was the last can on my shelf, I would do what I could to help someone out because there are sources in the United States I could result to getting food.

For now, that is all, but I am sure I will come back and edit it as often as I can. I have too many goals to count (not 1000) but I have enough. 

“The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.” ― Bill Cosby

Since I started college, I have seen people come and go from my life. Facebook has really been the only way to hold on to my past. At some point, I started adding all the people I graduated with to stay in touch. But what I realized is that I wasn't ready to let go. High school came and went, it seemed to go so slow, but in reality, graduation happened too quick. Half the people I added, I never once hung out with, not once was invited to be part of their little frenzy, nor did I ever want to be part of it. They say that when you graduate you will hold on to true friends. But I found out, I had no true friends. High school was so fake to me and I couldn't wait to get out. All the pettiness, all the back stabbing, the immaturity, I HATED going to school. And yes, I just contradicted myself: graduation came too quick, but yet I hated going to school. Who didn't?

What they also say is that you will miss it. The ONLY thing that I miss about my high school is the pep rallies, the parades, the games, and the idea of being some where other than home for almost 8 hours a day. I also miss not having responsibilities for food, bills, etc..  

Through my entire Middle School, and High School existence  our teachers beat into our heads what colleges look for. State tests (they were the death of me) were given to make sure we were where we were supposed to be. I truly am surprised at the number of people not in college. I don't care what any one says, but I find college debt to be good debt. Good debt? Wtf is that? Well, its something you accomplished. You made it through school. With all the scholarships I have applied for and never received, I have to take out student loans. I have no choice. U of M: Flint is NOT the best place to give out scholarships. In the 3 school years that I have attended, I have received a total of maybe $4, 000 in scholarships. 

Getting back to my original point, my entire news feed is either babies, marriage or at least a proposal or two. When thinking about all that I have in my life, yea, maybe I wish I was married or had a baby, but I am only twenty. I have 10+ years still to have children and honestly I am in no rush. Tim and I are planning on traveling once he gets a new car. Going around the united states and eventually taking a cruise or two. Not saying you can't do all that with a child, but not having that responsibility out weights all of it. I talk to maybe one or two people I went to high school with but not on a regular basis... and guess what? They have babies! It's amazing how acceptable it is to have children before you have a financial background, before you have your life together. I am still figuring out mine, so how could I guide another little human being on theirs? 

I give kudos to all of you who have had children, and made it with little to no money. I seriously do, because honestly I would freak out. Bringing another child into this world is a HUGE responsibility. I want nothing but the best for that kid, (not saying people who have no money don't). I have had a plan since I was ten years old:

1. Finish High school and get my Bachelors
2. Marry the love of my life after College
3. Have a child after I have been married at least 2 years and have found a job
4. Have a house with everything a child may need
5. Finish everything on my bucket list (look for a future post on my bucket list)

Once I reach my goals, then I shall think about children, and how I want to raise them. But until then, I am going to live my life and only worry about myself. I come first, my life comes first, and my responsibilities come first which is obviously finishing college and finding a big girl job. 

"So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…" – The Notebook

As I was sitting in the car that Tim let me borrow to go to school, I thought to myself "how the HELL did I of all people, get so lucky to have such an amazing guy?" And to be honest, I don't know that answer, and I probably never will. Our life story together began on a dating site called www.okcupid.com. At first I was ashamed, but now that I have found what I was looking for, I am NOT ashamed.

 January 20, 2012 Red Wings vs Columbus (Our first game together)

When entering college, I never thought I would date someone till after graduation and I had my shit together: meaning job, car, my own apartment, you name it. It was the least of my worries. My freshmen year, there were prospects, no worries there, but none I wanted to give up my activities for. I was a free spirited girl and I had just moved out of my home. I truly was lost at heart, but I could hide it all behind the scenes. I dedicated my life to Campus Activities Board, literally, I was in that office before class, in between classes, after class until 8 or 9pm at night unless we had an event. THAT was what I buried my head into. It was my escape from any hurt, from any problems that were going on (and boy were there lots back home). After about a year of that, I decided to quit CAB. I had moved on up to become secretary, but working with Executive board, and General Board, there was just TOO MUCH DRAMA! I decided to quit in November of 2011. 

2010- Event for Campus Activities Board. Wow was I skinny! and 10x prettier than I am now! By the way, I am the one all the way to the right. 

Before quitting CAB, I had become a Resident Assistant, and obviously from my post from November 5, you can see how that turned up. But back to my story.

After signing up for a profile in the summer of 2011, I had NO luck whats so ever finding any prospects. A LOT of guys lie online, let me tell you (not that girls don't). I had guys lined up who kept messaging me who were either low life's  or were "looking for jobs but was hoping a girl would pick up the tab," ok well they could kiss my ass. I am super old fashioned, I love when a guy opens the door for me, and gets the car door for me as well. I love a guy who will pick up the tab and not bitch because he is paying for the girl. It just shows that he isn't cheap and it also shows respect for a girl. I wasn't out for a guys money, I was out to find a guy who could respect me enough for me. 

While I could have waited and found a guy on campus, I really didn't want someone who would be in my business all the time, or who was from the same group of friends because then we would be down eachothers throats 24/7...that would have just ended badly because I LOVE me some free time! 

When I came across Tim's photo on okcupid, my heart stopped. I thought "oh my god, he is so adorable, but I probably wouldn't have a chance." Well I tried anyway. It started off as super slow and rocky, a typical "hi, how are you" or "whats up" sufficed. But I truly wanted to get to know him. Sadly, I made the mistake of thinking his sister was his girlfriend, so I backed off and stopped messaging him. Ya, I should have asked, but what do you think when you see another girl in a guys photo? But after he assured me it was his sister, he asked me for my phone number since he was never online. From there, we started texting each other here and there and finally decided to go on a date the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving. Because I was heading home for thanksgiving, he asked if I wanted to go on a really long date and see if it works out. 

Our date consisted of bowling, Applebees and then a movie at his apartment. I was super nervous because it was the first time meeting face to face, but I went with it. I was super comfortable after bowling, even though I quit after game 2 (damn bowling balls were hurting my hands) and Tim made fun of me the rest of the night. When we went to Applebees, our waiter was high as a damn kite... Tim and I made fun of him the entire night and couldn't stop laughing. And then, we attempted a movie but I can't even remember what it was because we ended up talking the whole night away. 

Needless to say, he asked me out on November 22, 2011. I was super excited but not like "weirdo" excited. I just couldn't believe I found someone so amazing and I had things in common with. 

First U of M game :)

Tim is my knight and shining armour, my peanut to my butter, he is EVERYTHING to me. He stuck by me when I got super sick at the beginning of the year, after surgery, bronchitis, sinus infections, asthma issues, weight problems. He doesn't care about the small stuff like I do. He sees the bigger picture and loves me for me.

Without him, I wouldn't have had anywhere to go. Moving out of my place was a stamper for us because I don't have a car. But he is picking up the slack, he is letting me live with him, and he treats me like a queen. Even if I bitch about him, all the good stuff out weights the bad. I would be so lost right now if it weren't for him.

He is part of a lot of firsts for me too: First Red Wings game, first U of M game, first trip to Mackinac Island, firsts for a lot of things and its him I want to spend the rest of my life with.Can a year tell you your future? Absolutely not, but it is hope. I can hope its him I marry and hope its him I have children with... and hope its him I grow old with. But only time will tell. 

First Trip to Mackinac Island Together 2012

Michlimackinac 2012

I LOVE our faces in this one. Soo Locks 2012.

Our first concert together- Summer 2012

Remember, Remember, The Fifth of November

Sorry to disappoint, but this post has nothing to do with V for Vendetta. It's mostly about what has been going on in my life as of late. So here is an update:

For the past year and some, I was a Resident Assistant for a more private owned Residence Hall. Recently, on October 29, 2012 at 11:30am I gave my two weeks notice that I was leaving which gave me till November 12. I couldn't believe I finally put forth the effort to quit. I was scared at first, scared of the reactions of my fellow Resident Assistants. I loved staff this year, it was very fun, and eventful. But I knew I had to quit to better myself. I have a lot of ongoing issues that need to be resolved, and having a job that is so demanding and life sucking just wasn't going to cut it. On Wednesday, October 31, there was another event, but I neglected to go for some more personal reasons. Then on that Thursday,November 1, 2012 I formally wrote another letter to the boss and explained that I was quitting officially on that day.

That sent Tim (my boyfriend of a year) and I into a frenzy because the day that I quit, she just said she wanted my keys during the week sometime since she would be gone at a conference. She asked that I put it under her door or in her mailbox. Well I asked Tim if I could be out by Sunday so that I could focus on getting a schedule together and he said yes! I knew it would be a time crunch for us since Thursday and Friday he worked till 5pm. But in the end, we got everything done. 

Do you know how much a girl accumulates in 3 years? A whole lot. By having access to a huge apartment to myself, I wanted to fill the emptiness, the echo that would come from within those walls. Never did it occur to me that I would have a 24 year old boyfriend who did the same thing. Luckily, seriously, luckily, he allowed me to move in and keep everything. It didn't help that I came to Flint with EVERYTHING from my old room (when I was first moving into my dorm, my parents were getting a divorce so I was told to take EVERYTHING, but that's for another time, when I am ready). It officially took us about 5 car trips, it would have been more if I didn't start packing right away. Tim's car is in fact a 4 door but his trunk is super small, all we could fit were small boxes which left us to put the big things in the middle. It was hell yesterday (Sunday Nov 4) because I personally wanted to get everything done right then and there. We only had two car loads left yesterday but with needing to clean and properly put things away, it took us about 6 hours. 

Honestly, the rules of that place is ridiculous. With even a hole in a trash bag, someone will dig through it, find something with your name on it and you automatically get charged $25 especially when moving out. I do believe you typically get a warning, but still. It's all about money money money. The rule is, that everything must be thrown away properly, okay, that's really not a problem BUT, when it comes to recycling, you must break down the boxes and put them in trash bags AND put them in the right receptacle. There are two trash cans, and two recycling bins on each floor in a trash room. I had to sit down, and break apart 5 HUGE boxes which took me about 30 minutes. Seriously breaking down boxes wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to bag them in trash bags. I was PISSED because I wasted maybe 7 different trash bags from 1. trying not to over fill them and 2. trying not to rip the trash bags. On top of that, I still had to vacuum, throw things out, and pack the car up with boxes. 

Honestly, the charging is truly an issue. Leaving dust, you get charged, not sweeping or mopping, you get charged. Leaving ANYTHING unclean, you get charged. Honestly it is like $10 dollars per wood item that is left dusty. Mind you, that place is a dust collector. I wiped down my counter in the bathroom and honestly, 10 minutes later there is a pile of dust again. The rules are just ridiculous. But the charges, those over take all the stupid rules. 

But anyway, to continue, after six hours, we were finally out of there by 7:30pm almost 8pm. I cleaned, loaded everything up and turned in my keys. I felt pretty shady for putting my keys in an envelope and turning it in, but that is what she asked for, so that is what she got.

My feelings on leaving the place is guilty. I feel guilty that people have to pick up my slack. I feel guilty because people were watching me leave, especially my residents, and they were all sad to see me go. I felt guilty because I thought I could make it through this year, but honestly, it just was never going to work out for me. I have WAY too much going on in my life right now and that surely needs to come first, as well as school before this job. I can't babysit residents anymore, especially the ones who rebel and treat people who are doing their jobs like crap. It truly effected me mentally and physically. But I guess time will tell how well it will go here with Tim. I pray it goes well, so far so good, but we will see. Only time can tell. 

My first post :)

You would think that I could figure out how to write a blog easily, but for the life of me, even coming up with a name is hard. I wanted a name for my blog that could express so much in so little. The first thing that popped up in my head was "For The Love of The Game", so changing it up a bit, my blog will now be "For The Love of Life."

For a long time, a friend has had a blog up, and my desire to start one has always been there. I AM an English major after all. I may not type like one, but writing is so different, so expressional, so lovely. The way the words come across the page, each looking different, meaning something else, it's just beautiful to me. And yes, I like to make up my own words. I would LOVE to have a dictionary just for Jessica (me).

Well for my first post, I think this is good enough till I am able to fully figure this thing out, for the life of me I pray it doesn't defeat me.

**Wish me luck!**